Skip to content

Courage to STAY! (#31)

The Confident Leader

Chris, a successful leader, admitted in her coaching session this week, “Robin, I feel awkward with my new growth activities. I’m being pelleted by a world that seems to be rejecting what I have to offer. I don’t think I can handle this.”

Comfort kills ambition. Get uncomfortable and get used to it in your pursuit of your goals and dreams.
— Robert Kiyosaki (author of Rich Dad Poor Dad)

This Week’s Edition

STAY: Mustering the courage to GO beyond your comfort zone requires the additional skill to STAY – remain uncomfortable long enough to get good at what you are supposed to be good at.

Clarify Your Thinking

Over the past few months, many leaders I work with are stepping into their discomfort zone. Two primary factors are inspiring them to move beyond their leadership doubt:

1.   They perceive growth initiatives in the current market as a once-in-a-life-time professional opportunity, and  

2.   The pain associated with their lack of organizational growth is now greater than the risk or perceived pain of potential failure.


Emblematic of this leadership trend, Chris, a successful CEO, stepped forward in spite of her leadership doubt. Congratulations, Chris!


She met turbulence early on. Her initial doubt about her leadership performance proved accurate in the short-term results:

·      Few, if any, people have called her back.

·      One even sounded a little bothered by her calling.

·      Some were not interested in what she was offering.


As a result, her leadership doubt voice grew louder:

·      That awkwardness means you are not good at this and never will be.

·      Every person that says “no” proves that no one will ever say “yes.”


Confident leadership is not about never doubting. It is about what the leader does in the face of that doubt. Chris’ instinct, like most of us, was to avoid pain and snap back to the comfort zone.


Chris remembered the pain that drove her into the discomfort zone in the first place, and thought, “What got me here, won’t get me there. I have to learn new things even if that means feeling a bit awkward at times.”


post pandemic vision

Thoughts Lead to Actions

How do leaders stay in an uncomfortable state long enough to persevere and achieve their ultimate objective?


Impulse control is one of fifteen emotional intelligence skills. It is defined as the ability to resist or delay the temptation to act. In this instance, Chris needed to resist her instinct to flee from the growth activity that felt uncomfortable.


I coached Chris to keep her leadership focused on using the skill of impulse control (resist the urge to retreat), thereby allowing her to STAY uncomfortable long enough to succeed.


To learn what is needed to succeed, a leader must ask for feedback. This was hard for Chris. Feeling uncomfortable about having failed to this point, Chris was not particularly interested in asking for feedback to prove what she already knew – that she didn’t perform well.


Refusing to quit, she asked her prospects, “What feedback do you have for me about what I am offering?” To her surprise, staying in the game and asking that question unlocked a wealth of knowledge, which she used to improve her approach.


In the coming days, Chris watched with excitement as her prospects became increasingly interested in what she was offering. In time, she knew she had unlocked a powerful new way of thinking about attracting ideal clients for her business.

Boost Your Performance

Take your game to the next level by playing in the discomfort zone:


1.   Decide to step outside of your comfort zone.

2.   Have the courage to actually GO into the discomfort zone.

3.   STAY in the discomfort zone even despite early poor performance.

4.   ASK for feedback about your approach and your product or service.

5.   Use that information to improve your skill.

6.   Change your thinking about what his possible about your growth even in a pandemic.


What’s Your Opinion?

This is the thirty-first edition of The Confident Leader. We work diligently each week to bring you the best leadership coaching a short-form newsletter like this can offer. It is time for us to take stock of our performance and ASK: What feedback do you have for us?


Here is a link to a survey that will take between 3 and 5 minutes to complete. We want to hear from you about how we can serve you better as you continue to grow to be a Confident Leader. 

Don’t let doubt count you out. Have a confident week!

robin pou, chief advisor and strategist

Robin Pou, Chief Advisor and Strategist

If this was helpful, feel free to share it with another leader who needs to defeat doubt and complete their confidence.

Let’s Connect

Follow me on Linkedin, Facebook and Twitter.

What is “The Confident Leader”?

During the Covid-19 Pandemic, I began a video series called “Panic or Plan?” It was designed to equip leaders to navigate the doubt they experienced and to rise in the confidence they needed to lead during turbulent times. It took off. I then started this newsletter to equip leaders in the same fashion each week for the doubt that crashes across the bow of their leaderSHIP.

Let’s Do This!

    We respect your privacy. Unsubscribe at any time.