Do You Know What Triggers You? (#210)
The Confident Leader
BOOST YOUR LEADERSHIP IN UNCERTAIN TIMES
One of our leadership workshops focuses on leadership derailers. We assess the likelihood of a leader’s possibility for derailment by starting in an unlikely place. The revelations are powerful.
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”
― Aristotle (ancient Greek philosopher)
This Week’s Edition
Leaders are susceptible to a higher likelihood of derailment if they don’t know what triggers them. Surprisingly, triggers are easily identified.
Clarify Your Thinking
Our leadership workshop re: derailers starts with a slightly counterintuitive opening question:
What is the predominant value espoused in the home in which you grew up?
We receive all sorts of answers:
- Be respectful to others… they are worthy.
- Be kind and considerate
- Serve others (don’t serve yourself)
- Be honest… all the time
- Work hard. Play hard.
Most participants think this exercise is a standard icebreaker. While it is an ice-breaker, it serves another important purpose discussed below.
We’ve found that most leaders aren’t fully aware of what triggers them emotionally. This lack of awareness ensnares leaders, creating a higher likelihood of derailment:
- Trigger occurs…
- Emotional reaction ensues…
- Reaction: Blame… Complain… Defend!
- Cycle repeats.
Old Thinking: They always do _____. They never do _____. I can’t rely on _____. Why don’t they ______.
New Thinking: I seem to fall for the same issues all the time. I wonder why that is. Is there a pattern to my reactions? What are my triggers? How can I break this cycle on these issues?
Thoughts Lead to Actions
Later in the workshop, we ask leaders to make a list of their triggers. This generates responses like:
- Disrespectful people.
- Mean people who lack common courtesies.
- Selfishness and greediness.
- Dishonest people. Liars.
- Lazy people.
- _________ (feel free to add your own here)
Interestingly, the trigger each person offers is the opposite of the value they shared at the beginning of the workshop.
- Respect -> Disrespect
- Kindness -> Mean people
- Serving others -> Selfishness
- Honesty -> Dishonesty
- Work hard -> Laziness
Typically, the leaders are shocked at the direct correlation. The revelation each has unlocks a deeper understanding of their triggers.
What you value sets your expectations. If you value respect, you assume everyone else values respect. News flash… they don’t, and when they act in a manner that does not meet your expectation, it triggers you. It can trigger you again and again causing you to react… again and again.
To break the reactive cycle, you must know what your triggers are. Take these steps to better understand/discover what your triggers are:
Step 1: Write your values as a leader.
- Refer to the values you experienced in the home you grew up in.
Step 2: Identify the expectations you have of others related to these values.
- How do you expect others in your leadership realm to behave relative to these values?
Step 3: Make a list of three times you’ve been triggered in the recent past.
- Determine what value of yours was being offended.
Knowing your triggers is a key step in creating awareness of how you tick as a leader. If you know what triggers you then you can see it coming a mile away. It gives you precious time to breathe and respond, versus feeling hijacked by emotion and merely reacting… perhaps in a manner that is not effective.
Boost Your Performance
Watch this week’s video for a more detailed way of understanding your triggers so you can keep your leadership train on track.
What’s Your Opinion?
What is a trigger of yours? Let me know: robin.pou@robinpou.com
If you are going to be a leader, you might as well be a good one. Don’t let doubt count you out. Have a confident week!
Robin Pou, Chief Advisor and Strategist
We live to make bad leadership extinct so forward this newsletter to others who strive to be confident leaders.
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What is “The Confident Leader”?
During the Covid-19 Pandemic, I began a video series called “Panic or Plan?” It was designed to equip leaders to navigate the doubt they experienced and to rise in the confidence they needed to lead during turbulent times. It took off. I then started this newsletter to equip leaders in the same fashion each week for the doubt that crashes across the bow of their leaderSHIP.
