How Do You Like to Be Led? (#290)
The Confident Leader
BOOST YOUR LEADERSHIP IN UNCERTAIN TIMES
Far fewer know whether that approach actually resonates with the people they lead.
This gap could quietly limit your leadership effectiveness.
“Leadership is not about you. It’s about the people you serve.”
— Ken Blanchard
This Week’s Edition
Leadership effectiveness improves when leaders adapt their approach to the individuals on their team.
But adaptation requires awareness, and awareness starts with asking different questions.
Clarify Your Thinking
Most leaders lead the way they were taught to lead (or were not taught to lead).
Sometimes that model was effective. More often, it was learned in response to poor leadership, and they vowed never to repeat it.
Either way, many leaders default to a single approach for the different individuals on their team.
Here’s the problem:
Not everyone likes to be led the same way.
- Some people want clarity and structure.
- Others want autonomy and trust.
- Some want frequent feedback.
- Others want space.
When leaders don’t understand how their team members prefer to be led, misalignment creeps in. Communication strains. Frustration builds quietly. Leaders feel misunderstood, and team members feel unseen.
The impact shows up quickly:
- Leaders work harder to achieve the same results
- Teams disengage without knowing why
- Feedback becomes vague or avoided altogether
Old Thinking
If I lead well, people should adapt to my style.
New Thinking
My leadership becomes more effective when I understand how others work best..
Thoughts Lead to Actions
Leaders don’t need a new personality or a style overhaul. They need the answer to one question.
“How do you like to be led?”
Chances are good your team has never been asked that question. Have you been asked that question?
Some may not even know the answer at first.
That’s okay because the question itself starts the journey of fortifying the relationship.
If you want to increase your effectiveness this year, don’t start with expectations. Start by understanding your team better.
1. Ask the Question Directly
In a one-on-one, ask: “How do you like to be led?” Then give them space to think.
2. Normalize Uncertainty
If they say, “I don’t know,” that’s not resistance. It’s a starting point. Invite them to reflect and return to the conversation.
3. Listen Without Correcting
Your role isn’t to defend your approach. It’s to understand theirs.
4. Clarify Alignment
If what they ask for differs from what you’re willing or able to provide, address that openly. Alignment beats silent frustration every time.
5. Adjust Where You Can
You don’t have to lead everyone the same way. You do need to lead them thoughtfully.
When leaders invite this conversation, they remove ambiguity. Teams gain a new language. Leaders gain evermore clarity.
Automagically, leadership gets a little lighter as your confidence grows.
Boost Your Performance
In this week’s video, I walk through how one leader transformed trust and performance simply by asking his team how they preferred to be led and how he responded when the answers surprised him.
What’s Your Opinion?
Have you ever been asked how you like to be led? What difference did it make? Share your thoughts with me at robin.pou@robinpou.com.
If you are going to be a leader, you might as well be a good one. Don’t let doubt count you out. Have a confident week!
Robin Pou, Chief Advisor and Strategist
We live to make bad leadership extinct so forward this newsletter to others who strive to be confident leaders.
SUBSCRIBE TO THE CONFIDENT LEADER
Let’s Connect
Follow me on Linkedin, Facebook and Twitter.
What is “The Confident Leader”?
During the Covid-19 Pandemic, I began a video series called “Panic or Plan?” It was designed to equip leaders to navigate the doubt they experienced and to rise in the confidence they needed to lead during turbulent times. It took off. I then started this newsletter to equip leaders in the same fashion each week for the doubt that crashes across the bow of their leaderSHIP.
