Is Your Team Giving You the Right Signals? (#282)
The Confident Leader
BOOST YOUR LEADERSHIP IN UNCERTAIN TIMES
On paper, everything points to success.
The strategies are working.
The organization has grown.
The board believes in you.
And yet you’re wondering, “Am I actually the right person to lead this team forward?”
This counterintuitive question stems from something more complicated.
“Confidence is not arrogance. It is the quiet assurance that you belong in the room.”
— Amy Cuddy
This Week’s Edition
Most leadership doubt stems from failure.
Sometimes it shows up after success due to a lack of team affirmation or when respect is unclear.
This can be one of the loneliest moments of leadership.
Clarify Your Thinking
For leaders, the approaching new year brings some free time.
Often, that time is spent in reflection. As they review their experience with their team, they may wonder, “Is my leadership appreciated?”
Just like the teams they lead, leaders want to be affirmed for their efforts.
Understandably, they want to know whether all their hard work and unseen responsibilities are appreciated by the very people they strive to support most – their team.
In this situation, a good question is: What’s actually true?
Alarge-scale study found that employee recognition directly affects engagement, performance, and perceived fairness in leadership. When leaders feel unrecognized and teams seem disengaged, it can signal a breakdown in communication, not character.
In other words, even in the face of your team’s silence on your performance:
You might be doing better than you think.
Disconnection due to harried schedules and a lack of overt affirmation from your team can shape your perception of how your leadership is landing.
Old Thinking:
If they respected me more, I wouldn’t feel this way. Maybe I’m not worthy of leading them.
New Thinking:
Results and integrity demonstrate my worth as a leader. If alignment or respect is lacking, that’s a leadership issue to address, not an identity to question.
Thoughts Lead to Actions
Here’s where leaders often get stuck.
They internalize relational friction as a referendum on their capabilities.
They confuse a lack of appreciation with a lack of legitimacy.
And they quietly carry doubt rather than clarify reality.
Note: Your leadership confidence doesn’t come from universal approval.
It comes from clear thinking paired with strategic action. Sprinkle in some courageous conversations, and you might have the information you need.
If you want to regain your footing and lead with conviction, start here.
1. Separate Results from Relationships
Look at the evidence.
The organization has grown. The strategy worked. Trust exists at the board level. That matters. Do not dismiss it.
At the same time, acknowledge the relational friction you’re feeling. It deserves attention, but it does not erase performance.
2. Get Curious About Your Relationships
Misalignment with direct reports rarely resolves itself.
Engage.
What are your goals for 2026?
How can I support you in achieving those?
What do you want me to do more of? Less of? Differently?
Clarity here often changes everything.
3. Stop Expecting Gratitude to Prove Worth
Teams don’t always express appreciation upward, especially in high-performing cultures where success is normalized.
Gratitude is meaningful, but it is not the metric of leadership effectiveness.
4. Give the Gratitude You Are Looking For
Share with your team how much you appreciate them.
Don’t be surprised if you get a little affirmation in return.
Boost Your Performance
Count 2025 a success. Make a list of the people you are grateful for. Tell them. Leaders go first.
What’s Your Opinion?
Have you ever questioned your worth as a leader even after delivering results?
I’d love to hear your perspective. Share it with me at robin.pou@robinpou.com.
If you are going to be a leader, you might as well be a good one. Don’t let doubt count you out. Have a confident week!
Robin Pou, Chief Advisor and Strategist
We live to make bad leadership extinct so forward this newsletter to others who strive to be confident leaders.
SUBSCRIBE TO THE CONFIDENT LEADER
Let’s Connect
Follow me on Linkedin, Facebook and Twitter.
What is “The Confident Leader”?
During the Covid-19 Pandemic, I began a video series called “Panic or Plan?” It was designed to equip leaders to navigate the doubt they experienced and to rise in the confidence they needed to lead during turbulent times. It took off. I then started this newsletter to equip leaders in the same fashion each week for the doubt that crashes across the bow of their leaderSHIP.
