Same prep, completely different room. (#309)

The Confident Leader

BOOST YOUR LEADERSHIP IN UNCERTAIN TIMES

Matt felt ready, but somewhere on the walk into the biggest presentation of his CMO career, his goal quietly shifted from winning the room to just not embarrassing himself.

“Pressure is a privilege.” – Billie Jean King

This Week’s Edition

This week explores the fine line between playing to win and playing not to lose.

Clarify Your Thinking

Matt knew his material cold. It wasn’t about whether he could do it. It was his mental state: just don’t bomb or win the room somehow.

Two leaders can do identical prep and give completely different performances, because one walked in aimed at winning and the other walked in aimed at not losing.

The problem is you can’t lose what you’ve not yet accomplished.

We don’t want to lose face. Our reputation. The perception that we know what we are doing. 

Somehow, the stakes are overwhelmingly high.

“Whatever you do, don’t blow this.”

That voice feels like it’s keeping us safe.

Playing not to lose almost guarantees a loss. It’s tentative, hesitant, and less than our full fight. No wonder we end up losing even if we were up to begin with. 

Old Thinking: If I prepare hard enough, the performance takes care of itself.

New Thinking: Preparation sets the floor. Where I point my focus sets the ceiling.

Thoughts Lead to Actions

Here’s the cost. Playing not to lose doesn’t just feel worse, it performs worse. 

You give a fraction of what you actually prepared, the room senses the hesitation, and you walk out wondering why something that should have landed didn’t. 

Every important moment you spend protecting yourself is a moment you don’t spend winning.

Playing to win is vulnerable. Most leaders won’t run the risk of putting themselves out there. 

What are you willing to do before you walk in?

Here are the Power Questions to run as your pre-game reset before any high-stakes moment:

1. Am I walking in to win, or just to not lose?
   
2. In one sentence, what does like to play full out?
   
3. What am I bracing against right now, and is that fear quietly running my prep?
   
4. If I fully trusted my preparation, how would I show up differently?
   
5. What’s the one thing I want them to feel, not just hear?

Matt ran the reset before his next pitch. Still a little nervous, but pointed at the win instead of the escape, and for the first time in a while he was actually in the room instead of guarding it.

Pick your focus on purpose and go win the room.

Boost Your Performance

Want a 60-second reset that turns your preparation into your best performance? This week’s video gives you the move.

What’s Your Opinion?

Where in your work are you playing not to lose and calling it being careful?

I’d love to hear your thoughts: robin.pou@robinpou.com

If you are going to be a leader, you might as well be a good one. Don’t let doubt count you out. Have a confident week!

Robin Pou, Chief Advisor and Strategist

We live to make bad leadership extinct so forward this newsletter to others who strive to be confident leaders. 

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What is “The Confident Leader”?

During the Covid-19 Pandemic, I began a video series called “Panic or Plan?” It was designed to equip leaders to navigate the doubt they experienced and to rise in the confidence they needed to lead during turbulent times. It took off. I then started this newsletter to equip leaders in the same fashion each week for the doubt that crashes across the bow of their leaderSHIP.