Where Smart Leaders Quietly Come Apart (#300)
The Confident Leader
BOOST YOUR LEADERSHIP IN UNCERTAIN TIMES
He felt as if he was watching a train wreck in slow motion.
“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.” – Mark Twain
This Week’s Edition
What looks like stress at the next level is often untrained EQ skills you may not be aware of.
Four out of fifteen of the skills are the ones research links most directly to leadership derailment.
Clarify Your Thinking
I hear it all the time. A voice in the leader’s head telling them to keep using the skills that got you the big role. Why not double down. They haven’t failed you yet.
In fact, it can feel like discipline. Keeping your hard skills strong.
It feels safe. You can measure the progress and the outcome.
Leadership skills, the “soft” skills, are the new measurement. The new dashboard…
This means that the thing that decides whether you stay in the new chair isn’t necessarily the thing that you got you the gig.
Many leaders confess to being promoted for their technical ability not their leadership ability.
Old Thinking: I’ll keep sharpening what got me here.
New Thinking: I’ve got to figure out the leadership skills that will enhance my hard skills.
Thoughts Lead to Actions
Four of the fifteen emotional intelligent skills are most linked to leadership derailment. Focus on these and you will keep your leadership train on the track.
- Impulse Control: ability to resist or delay acting
- Stress Tolerance: ability to handle stressful situations
- Problem Solving: ability to make decisions when emotions are involved
- Independence: self-directed and not overly dependent on others
Step 1: Score yourself one to ten this week on each of the four emotional intelligence skills. Be honest, not generous.
Step 2: Pick the lowest score. That is your training ground for the next thirty days.
Actions to get you thinking about how to improve:
- Impulse Control: Pause three (or sixty) seconds before you respond. Listen instead.
- Stress Tolerance: Define the friction you are feeling.
- Problem Solving: Seek feedback to gain additional information.
- Independence: Breathe. Stay calm. Take the next right step. Make a small decision.
The old scoreboard got you here. Add new skills to your leadership repertoire. Post new wins. Watch the new scoreboard. Win!
Boost Your Performance
A VP of operations spent years hearing she had a temper but never named which of the four was actually hers. This week’s video walks through the day she trained impulse control specifically and how it reset every meeting she ran for six months after.
What’s Your Opinion?
Which emotional intelligence skill has been hardest for you to train: impulse control, stress tolerance, problem solving, or independence? Send me a note: robin.pou@robinpou.com
If you are going to be a leader, you might as well be a good one. Don’t let doubt count you out. Have a confident week!
Robin Pou, Chief Advisor and Strategist
We live to make bad leadership extinct so forward this newsletter to others who strive to be confident leaders.
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What is “The Confident Leader”?
During the Covid-19 Pandemic, I began a video series called “Panic or Plan?” It was designed to equip leaders to navigate the doubt they experienced and to rise in the confidence they needed to lead during turbulent times. It took off. I then started this newsletter to equip leaders in the same fashion each week for the doubt that crashes across the bow of their leaderSHIP.
