You’re Making $10,000 Requests on $100 Relationships (#298)
The Confident Leader
BOOST YOUR LEADERSHIP IN UNCERTAIN TIMES
A deadline. A stretch project. A higher level of ownership.
And the response is underwhelming.
So you wonder: do I just need different people?
Probably not. You need a different account balance.
“You can’t withdraw from a bank account you haven’t made deposits into.” — Robin Pou
This Week’s Edition
When delegation breaks down, most leaders assume a capability issue. But the gap is rarely skill. It’s relational equity.
Clarify Your Thinking
One leader I worked with kept asking his team to step up and kept being disappointed.
When we looked closer, he was making $10,000 requests on $100 relationships.
High expectation. Low relational equity.
That ask is built on a brittle relationship.
It looks strong on the surface but cannot hold under pressure.
In business, you rarely get to lower the ask. The deadline is real. The standard doesn’t move.
The best lever you have is to build the relationship until it can carry the weight of the request.
Old Thinking:
If they were more capable, they’d step up.
New Thinking:
If I want them to carry more, I need to build a relationship strong enough to hold it.
Thoughts Lead to Actions
Delegation doesn’t fail at the moment of the ask.
It fails in the weeks leading up to it.
Every request draws from a relationship account.
Here’s how to make deposits before your next big ask.
Invest Before You Need Performance.
Show up in the quiet weeks, not just the crunch weeks. Consistency builds trust. Intensity doesn’t.
Make the Deposit Specific and Small.
Ask about the kid’s recital. Remember that they hate Mondays. Send the article you know they’d love. Small, specific, consistent.
Acknowledge the Person, Not Just the Output.
Name something they did well that you haven’t mentioned yet. Recognition builds confidence and confidence drives ownership.
The temptation is to lower your expectations.
Instead, strengthen the bridge that carries them.
A Note for Emerging Leaders
You may not be making the big asks yet. But you are building the accounts that will determine how far your asks can reach one day. Start now. The asks are coming.
Boost Your Performance
In this week’s video check out the top 10 things you can do this week to build into your relationship that matter.
What’s Your Opinion?
What’s the relationship you know you need to strengthen? Send me your thoughts: robin.pou@robinpou.com.
If you are going to be a leader, you might as well be a good one. Don’t let doubt count you out. Have a confident week!
Robin Pou, Chief Advisor and Strategist
We live to make bad leadership extinct so forward this newsletter to others who strive to be confident leaders.
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What is “The Confident Leader”?
During the Covid-19 Pandemic, I began a video series called “Panic or Plan?” It was designed to equip leaders to navigate the doubt they experienced and to rise in the confidence they needed to lead during turbulent times. It took off. I then started this newsletter to equip leaders in the same fashion each week for the doubt that crashes across the bow of their leaderSHIP.
