Sometimes It Doesn’t Work Out. (#214)
The Confident Leader
BOOST YOUR LEADERSHIP IN UNCERTAIN TIMES
In a recent Peer Group discussion, one of the leaders detailed a challenge – a hard conversation she needed to have with one of her colleagues. Her perspective on the resulting outcome surprised her peers.
“One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn’t pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.”
― Lucille Ball (American comedian and actor)
This Week’s Edition
Sometimes, when you fully prepare and perform your best you still don’t get the desired outcome. What then?
Clarify Your Thinking
Chris, the leader, knew she needed to address a chronic situation with a work colleague. She described her preparation:
- Reflect on the issue(s)
- Curate specific examples
- Outline the talking points and rehearse
- Think about the right approach for this person
As a result, she felt confident going into the conversation, executed her plan well, and felt great about how she approached her colleague.
Upon hearing the details of her story, both her coach and her peers naturally thought it had gone well. They were surprised that the outcome was not positive.
Chris confided in them that it was received poorly and the relationship suffered. They were somewhat shocked because her preparation and delivery were textbook. Shouldn’t she have gotten a better result
That mantra played in my head each of the fourteen or so days I failed to post.
Sometimes things don’t go well despite full preparation and solid delivery.
Old Thinking: I’m stunned I didn’t get the results I wanted. I prepared. I tried hard and didn’t deserve this outcome.
New Thinking: Regardless of how well I prepare and perform, there are variables outside my control that can cause things to go poorly. I’ve got to accept that, as hard as that might be, and move on.
Thoughts Lead to Actions
Success in leadership (like life) is not guaranteed, no matter how well you prepare and perform. Sometimes it just doesn’t go well.
Chris understood this. She didn’t second guess herself. She embraced reality: her colleague was not going to hear her concerns or make any adjustments.
She shared, “I can’t change him; therefore, I can’t change this circumstance in my daily work. However, I can change the way I think about it. I can respond differently which allows me to think creatively about how to manage around this situation. I can reclaim time by no longer trying to convince him or fret about what I’ve done wrong.”
The way she described her new outlook impressed her peers. They recognized she was neither in denial about the situation nor settling for the status quo. She refused to beat herself up for something outside her control. She accepted it and began thinking creatively to work around this obstacle.
Think about these four steps Chris experienced:
Step 1: Prepared and executed well (the conversation with her colleague)
Step 2: Got an undesirable response and outcome
Step 3: Accepted reality – this situation is the way it is
Step 4: Looked for alternate options to achieve the larger results
Which phase are you in concerning a current leadership issue you might be experiencing?
Phase 1: Do you need to do more preparation to execute well?
Phase 2: Do you need to accept the reality of a bad situation?
Phase 3: Do you need to move on and think about creative alternatives?
When you look “reality testing” or “flexibility” or “healthy leadership approach” you will find Chris’s picture and story right there on the page. She led herself well which will allow her to lead her team and the organization to new heights.
Boost Your Performance
Watch this week’s video for more in-depth discussion on Chris’ approach to her situation which can be used for any leader with an immovable obstacle in their path.
What’s Your Opinion?
What part of Chris’ story resonates most with you given a situation you might be dealing with currently? Let me know: robin.pou@robinpou.com
If you are going to be a leader, you might as well be a good one. Don’t let doubt count you out. Have a confident week!
Robin Pou, Chief Advisor and Strategist
We live to make bad leadership extinct so forward this newsletter to others who strive to be confident leaders.
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What is “The Confident Leader”?
During the Covid-19 Pandemic, I began a video series called “Panic or Plan?” It was designed to equip leaders to navigate the doubt they experienced and to rise in the confidence they needed to lead during turbulent times. It took off. I then started this newsletter to equip leaders in the same fashion each week for the doubt that crashes across the bow of their leaderSHIP.
